Bigfoot Is My Dream Man: Part 1.

Disclaimer: This one is going to be in two parts. The lead up and the break up. It’s just a lot to handle in one sitting.

It all begins three months after my breakup with Jerkface. I heard he had a girlfriend and that gave me the answer I had been waiting for. We were done. I downloaded Tinder and started playing around.  

Not too long into my swiping, I matched with P. He messaged me and we started chatting. He was a little bit nerdy, a little bit tattooed and a romantic at heart. Sold!

After messaging for a week or so, my friend convinced me to ask him out for drinks after work. He said he didn’t have the cash and maybe another time. Then I asked if he would want to come over and watch a movie instead. Kind of a stupid idea, considering I live by myself and all of my friends have moved out of the complex. He agreed and we arranged a time.  

After work, I rushed around to make myself look cute, doing a quick tidy and take a shot or two to kill the nerves of inviting a strange boy over to my apartment. He arrived and I opened the door, noticing he was much hotter than his pictures let on.  

We sat on the bed and talked for a while before deciding on a movie. We settled on Sausage Party for some reason.  

The movie was meh. And we started Netflix and chilling. He made some bold moves. Things that definitely set me apart from other girls, as they would have been running out of the room. But it wasn’t bad.  

The next morning, he got approval from the cats while I did my makeup for work.

Over the next week, he visited me at work and brought me coffee. We were walking around the mall, getting to know each other. I found out he had got out of a two year relationship just a month before and there was a decent age gap between him and his ex. He didn’t offer any more details so I left it at that. It was still early and I know the Ex Talk has to happen at some point.

He spent another night and made the trip out of town for a doctors appointment with me. There was never any awkwardness and we got along really well. We had lots of little things in common and it looked like there was a lot of promise. 

Later that night, we decided that we were an “us”.

I was going to leave for a week to go on vacation, so we’d were trying to spend as much time together as possible. The day before I left, he asked if he could come over after work to say goodbye. I said that was fine but my parents were coming over to spend the night, as we had a stupidly early flight in the morning. He was all excited to meet my parents even though we had only been seeing each other officially for four days. 

He came over and we hung out until my parents showed up. They seemed to like him and he got along with them.  

The next morning, my mom and I were off to Mexico. The resort had wifi but P had an Android, so we would have to talk over Snapchat.  

I was posting everything on there anyway.

He messaged me after ever post, which was sweet in the beginning but kind of got annoying as the days went on. Because if I didn’t respond, he would keep popping up. And it was Snapchat, so he knew if I opened it.

We would talk before bed and things would heat up, but it quickly became repetitive. This was still new, so I was letting it slide.

While I was out there, my ex from high school hit me up on Facebook. We started talking and he asked if I would be interested in catching up over coffee. I was up for it, but I said that I would have to check with the guy I was seeing.

I reached out to P, asking what he thought about me having guy friends and hanging out with them.

I am a very easy-going girl in that regard. I absolutely do not mind if the guy I am seeing has friends of the opposite gender. Both of Jerkface’s best friends had been girls, and I got them both in the breakup. They are amazing and I love them!

P said that he was not comfortable with that and did not see why that would be necessary. I was not thrilled with that answer but I figured I would respect his wishes in that regard and table it for the time being.

This left me with a bad taste in my mouth, but I was trying not to dismiss things too quickly. However, I did really want to see this ex and did not want to have to lie and sneak behind P’s back. But I was not opposed to the idea either.

The rest of the trip was amazing. P and I had talked and I had agreed for him to come over when I got back but I wanted an hour or so to unpack and get settled, as it was straight back to work the next morning. He wasn’t happy about it but he agreed.

He came over and we “caught up”. I was selfish and at the end of it all, I was just left disappointed. Again, I wrote it off as a learning curve, but it was going to be a problem if it continued like this.

He got a weird phone call and had to go home. We just texted, which probably made it easier. He called me out for being selfish and said certain things just didn’t do it for him, which made me question his preferences a little bit. I apologized but still was not done with this.

We talked about me coming over to his place for dinner and to meet his mom. I said I wanted to but the next few days were going to be busy and I wasn’t sure if I would have the energy to be charming.

We settled on a day and I rushed to buy something cute after work, as I somehow got makeup all over what I was planning on wearing. I showed up late, but I looked cute. It all balanced out.

His mom is amazing. We instantly clicked and talked about cats and life things.

She had made burgers and P and I went to his room to watch a movie while we ate.

They had a total of four cats, one of which was P’s specifically. She was fluffy and black and white. A perfect mix of the cat I grew up with and one that I have now. She loved me and all the attention I was giving her.

We watched Venom and it was okay. (Spoiler alert?) There is one scene where Venom inhabits a dog, and I was done. I can’t do things where animals can be harmed. (See previous posts.) P just gave me a weird look and went back to the movie. And I went back to loving on the cat.

After the movie, I casually said that I love his cat more than I love him. (Please remember that we have been talking for under three weeks at this point.)

If you know me, then you know that this is completely in my character. I like animals more than I like people. But it was also a joke. I will save the cat from a burning building, but I’m counting on you to save your own ass. I probably can’t carry you out anyway. I have no upper body strength.

We snuggled up and my stream of consciousness kept going.

“I’m actually surprised that I’m not attracted to hairier guys.”

“Bigfoot should be my dream guy. He’s basically a giant cat.”

P did not laugh at any of these, which I was painfully aware of. Maybe he wasn’t paying attention.

Then he casually said that he had creeped my Facebook and Instagram and found pictures of my ex.

Well yea. That’s where I put them.

I asked if he wanted me to delete them, because I wouldn’t do it. I don’t delete anything.

I had creeped his pages, seen pictures of his ex but that did not bother me. But maybe this was when the Ex Talk was going to happen. He kept tiptoeing around it and it was getting weird. He has a past. I have a past. Everyone has a past. It’s fine.

He said no, unconvincingly and left it at that.

I said it was time for me to go home. The cats had to be fed and I was getting up early for a class at the gym. We kissed good night and off I went.

To be continued…